I'm laying in your front yard are you home
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
