All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize