called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
