I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
