apparently the secret to your success is patron
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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