You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It's Friday. Sex?
People in love make me want to vomit
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
