K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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