My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
