The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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