Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
