I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
not ubering you a puppy
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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