i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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