Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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