spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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