hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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