I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Watching her eat just hurts me
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
