I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
