Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
