Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
