at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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