I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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