just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
