he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
