ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Maybe he injected his testicle?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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