Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
