note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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