so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
the raccoons are back...
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