put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
