On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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