I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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