He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you will always have a special place in my vag
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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