my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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