so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
