Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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