Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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