I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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