On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
birth control should be required to get into college
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
