She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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