can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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