Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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