ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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