Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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