Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
