my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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