Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
