what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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