Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
