So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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