i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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