Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
