you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
