Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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