if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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