I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
